How to fix a broken heart

时间:2018-07-09 单词数:17890

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At some point in our lives, almost everyone of us will have our heart broken.


My patient Kathy planned her wedding when she was in middle school. She would meet her future husband by age 27, get engaged a year later and get married a year after that. But when Kathy turned27, she didn’t find a husband. She found a lump in her breast.


She went through many months of harsh chemotherapy and painful surgeries, and then just as she was ready to jump back into the dating world, she found a lump in her other breast and had to do it all over again. Kathy recovered, though, and she was eager to resume her search for a husband as soon as her eyebrows grew back in. When you’re going on first dates in New York City, you need to be able to express a wide range of emotions.


Soon afterwards, she met Rich and fell in love. The relationship was everything she hoped it would be. Six months later, after a lovely weekend in New England, Rich made reservations at their favorite romantic restaurant. Kathy knew he was going to propose, and she could barely contain her excitement.


But Rich did not propose to Kathy that night. He broke up with her. As deeply as he cared for Kathy -- and he did --he simply wasn’t in love.

但那晚,雷奇并没有向卡西求婚。他和她分手了。尽管他对卡西的关心很深 ──他真的关心过── 但他就是没有爱上她。

Kathy was shattered. Her heart was truly broken, and she now faced yet another recovery. But five months after the breakup, Kathy still couldn’t stop thinking about Rich. Her heart was still very much broken. The question is: Why? Why was this incredibly strong and determined woman unable to marshal the same emotional resources that got her through four years of cancer treatments? Why do so many of us flounder when we’re trying to recover from heartbreak? Why do the same coping mechanisms that get us through all kinds of life challenges fail us so miserably when our heart gets broken?