I Was Raped at 16 and I Kept Silent

世界名模帕德玛.拉克施密爆出自己16岁时被强奸
时间:2018-10-03 单词数:6820

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导读:世界名模帕德玛.拉克施密在纽约时报爆料自己在16岁时被别人强奸,但那时年少她一直没敢对外声张。

世界名模帕德玛.拉克施密爆出自己16岁时被强奸__双语新闻

When I was 16 years old, I started dating a guy I met at the Puente Hills Mall in a Los Angeles suburb. I worked there after school at the accessories counter at Robinsons-May. He worked at a high-end men’s store. He would come in wearing a gray silk suit and flirt with me. He was in college, and I thought he was charming and handsome. He was 23.

16岁那年,我开始与我在洛杉矶郊区的Puente Hills购物中心认识的一名男子约会。我放学后在购物中心销售配饰品的Robinsons-May店的柜台打工。他在一家高档男装店工作。他会穿着灰色的丝绸套装来我店里与我调情。他在上大学,我觉得他很迷人,很英俊。他23岁。

When we went out, he would park the car and come in and sit on our couch and talk to my mother. He never brought me home late on a school night. We were intimate to a point, but he knew that I was a virgin and that I was unsure of when I would be ready to have sex.

他来接我出去约会的时候,会把车停在我家门口,然后进来坐在我家的沙发上和我妈妈聊天。在有课的日子晚上,他从来不会很晚送我回家。虽然我们亲密到了某种程度,但他知道我是处女,知道我对自己什么时候准备好做爱没有把握。

On New Year’s Eve, just a few months after we first started dating, he raped me.

在新年前夕,也就是在我们开始约会的几个月后,他强奸了我。

I have been turning that incident over in my head throughout the past week, as two women have come forward to detail accusations against the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Christine Blasey Ford said he climbed on her and covered her mouth during an attempted rape when they were both in high school, and Deborah Ramirez said he exposed himself to her when they were in college.

在过去的一周里,随着两名女性站出来对最高法院大法官提名人布拉特.卡瓦诺(Brett Kavanaugh)做出详细的指控,我一直在想我自己的那次经历。克莉丝汀.布莱西.福特(Christine Blasey Ford)说,他们两人都在上高中时,他曾试图强奸她,他爬到她身上,用手捂住了她的嘴。黛博拉.拉米雷斯(Deborah Ramirez)说,他在他们上大学的时候,曾把下体在她面前露出。

On Friday, President Trump tweeted that if what Dr. Blasey said was true, she would have filed a police report years ago. But I understand why both women would keep this information to themselves for so many years, without involving the police. For years, I did the same thing. On Friday, I tweeted about what had happened to me so many years ago.

上周五,特朗普总统发推文说,如果布莱西博士所说的是真的,她早在好多年前就会报警了。但我理解这两名女性为什么会在这么多年里不把事情说出去,也没有报警。多年来,我也一直是这样做的。直到上周五,我才在Twitter上讲述了那么多年前发生在我身上的事情。

You may want to know if I had been drinking on the night of my rape. It doesn’t matter, but I was not drunk. Maybe you will want to know what I was wearing or if I had been ambiguous about my desires. It still doesn’t matter, but I was wearing a long-sleeved, black Betsey Johnson maxi dress that revealed only my shoulders.

你可能想知道我被强奸的那天晚上是不是喝酒了。那无关紧要,但我没喝醉。也许你想知道我穿了什么衣服,或者我是否对自己的欲望模棱两可。这也无关紧要,但我穿的是一件长袖的黑色特西.约翰逊(Betsey Johnson)及踝连衣裙,只露出了我的肩膀。

The two of us had gone to a couple of parties. Afterward, we went to his apartment. While we were talking, I was so tired that I lay on the bed and fell asleep.

那天晚上我们两人参加了几个派对。之后,我们去了他的公寓。我们谈话的时候,我感到特别累,就躺在床上睡着了。

The next thing I remember is waking up to a very sharp stabbing pain like a knife blade between my legs. He was on top of me. I asked, “What are you doing?” He said, “It will only hurt for a while.” “Please don’t do this,” I screamed.

我记得的接下来的事情是,我被一种剧烈的疼痛弄醒了,好像有把刀子插进了我的两腿之间。他压在我身上。我问,“你在干什么?”他说,“只会疼一小会儿。”我尖叫道,“请不要这样做。”

The pain was excruciating, and as he continued, my tears felt like fear.

疼痛难以忍受,当他继续下去时,我的眼泪更像是恐惧。

Afterward, he said, “I thought it would hurt less if you were asleep.” Then he drove me home.

完事后,他说,“我以为如果你睡着了的话,就不会那么疼了。”然后他开车送我回家。

I didn’t report it. Not to my mother, not to my friends and certainly not to the police. At first I was in shock. That evening, I let my mother know when I was home, then went to sleep, hoping to forget that night.

我没有告诉任何人。没有告诉我妈,没有告诉我的朋友们,当然也没有报警。起初我感到惊魂未定。那天晚上,我先是让我妈知道我回来了,然后就去睡觉,我希望能忘记发生的事情。

Now, 32 years after my rape, I am stating publicly what happened. I have nothing to gain by talking about this. But we all have a lot to lose if we put a time limit on telling the truth about sexual assault and if we hold on to the codes of silence that for generations have allowed men to hurt women with impunity.

如今,在我被强奸32年后,我公开讲述了发生的事情。我谈这件事对我没有任何好处。但是,如果我们对讲述性侵的真相设定一个时间限制,如果我们坚守沉默的准则——几代人以来,这种准则一直让男性伤害女性而不受惩罚——我们所有的人都会蒙受很大的损失。

One in four girls and one in six boys today will be sexually abused before the age of 18. I am speaking now because I want us all to fight so that our daughters never know this fear and shame and our sons know that girls’ bodies do not exist for their pleasure and that abuse has grave consequences.

如今,每四个女孩中就有一个、每六个男孩中就有一个会在18岁前遭受性虐待。我现在说出来,因为我想让我们所有的人都与之作斗争,让我们的女儿们永远不会知道这种恐惧和耻辱,让我们的儿子知道女孩子的身体不是为他们的快乐而存在的,虐待女性是有严重后果的。

Those messages should be very clear as we consider whom we appoint to make decisions on the highest court of our land.

在我们考虑我们将任命谁来在我们国土的最高法院做裁决的时候,这些信息应该十分清晰。

来源:纽约时报爱语吧作者:Penny

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