Would you rather be a zombie or a vampire? An answer to Oxford Uni’s hardest question

牛津大学最难考题:愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸
时间:2018-10-12 单词数:3520

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导读:世界最古老最顶尖的高等学府之一——英国牛津大学,今年出了一道这样的考题:你愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸?

牛津大学最难考题:愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸__双语新闻

With news that the entrance exam at All Souls College, Oxford, asks prospective Fellows to write an essay on whether they would prefer to be a zombie or a vampire, we look at the pros and cons of their lifestyles.

有消息称,牛津万灵学院(All Souls College, Oxford)的入学考试要求准学员写一篇关于他们愿意当僵尸还是吸血鬼的文章,现在让我们来看看吸血鬼和僵尸的生活方式都有什么特点。

Have you ever seen a bad-looking vampire? It’s not clear whether only stylish people get turned into vampires or whether being a vampire gives you style, but there’s no getting away from the fact that vampires look cool.

“你见过样貌丑陋的吸血鬼吗?不清楚到底是只有时尚人士才变成吸血鬼呢还是当了吸血鬼就让你很时尚,但总而言之,吸血鬼都看着很酷。”

And vampire life looks like an erotic riot – all that mysterious swooping around at night and the frequent nibbling of tender necks. Plus, being a vampire also comes equipped with a range of useful special powers: who wouldn’t want to be able to transform into a bat, or hypnotise passers-by into becoming your minions and doing your bidding?

吸血鬼的生活看起来就像一场色情的狂欢,他们可以在那些神秘的在夜晚飞来飞去,在别人的脖子上不时的温柔的咬上一口。此外,吸血鬼还拥有特殊能力:试问一下谁不想拥有变成蝙蝠的能力,或者催眠路人,让他们变成你的仆从,听从你的命令?

Being immortal sounds fun, until you realise it means watching everyone you love grow old and die in front of your eyes. Unless, of course, you vampirise them so they can spend eternity with you, which puts a lot of pressure on your relationship choices.

长生不老听着很好玩,但直到你要看着所有心爱的人都在你面前变老死去,你才发现这一点都不好玩。当然啦,除非你让他们都变成吸血鬼,可以永永远远地陪着你。这会给你的选择上带来巨大的压力,以确定和谁在一起。”

While being a vampire can be a lonely business, the general rule of thumb with zombies is that you go around in a marauding mob, which suggests it’s a much more sociable choice, suitable for extroverts and those less inclined towards brooding introspection. Plus, the zombie diet of choice – brains – is totally delicious, and has the health benefit of being full of DHA, which is an important omega-3 fatty acid.

然而,成为吸血鬼可能需要忍受孤独的煎熬,与之相反,僵尸的一般经验法则是你会与成群结队暴徒四处游荡,因此这是一个更合群的选择,适合外向的人,也适合那些不太喜欢沉思的人。另外,僵尸以脑髓为食,这是 “完全美味,而且很健康,充满DHA的一种重要的Omega3脂肪酸。”。

While hanging out in a big crowd might suit the more sociably minded, there’s very little in the way of scintillating conversation. Most zombie communication is done with low moans, or by muttering: “Brains! Brains!” with your arms outstretched.

虽然在一大群人中闲逛可能更适合思维更社会化的人,但在谈话方式上却让人提不起兴趣。大多数丧尸之间的交流都是伸出手臂并低声说:“脑子!脑子!。”

And, in contrast to vampires, and despite the best efforts of Halloween costume designers, it is very hard to pull off a sexy zombie look. Not only is being the living dead a skincare-regime nightmare, you also have to deal with your body parts dropping off left, right and centre. The constant smell of rotting flesh is also usually considered a turn-off.

与吸血鬼不同的是,尽管万圣节期间,服装设计师尽了最大的努力,但要想打造出性感的僵尸形象却很难。这些活死人的皮肤护理是他们最大的噩梦,而且你还必须处理全身腐烂的脱落物,身上时常散发着腐朽的烂肉味也通常让人感到很恶心。

来源:卫报爱语吧作者:Penny

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