Would you rather be a zombie or a vampire? An answer to Oxford Uni’s hardest question

时间:2018-10-12 单词数:3520

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With news that the entrance exam at All Souls College, Oxford, asks prospective Fellows to write an essay on whether they would prefer to be a zombie or a vampire, we look at the pros and cons of their lifestyles.

有消息称,牛津万灵学院(All Souls College, Oxford)的入学考试要求准学员写一篇关于他们愿意当僵尸还是吸血鬼的文章,现在让我们来看看吸血鬼和僵尸的生活方式都有什么特点。

Have you ever seen a bad-looking vampire? It’s not clear whether only stylish people get turned into vampires or whether being a vampire gives you style, but there’s no getting away from the fact that vampires look cool.


And vampire life looks like an erotic riot – all that mysterious swooping around at night and the frequent nibbling of tender necks. Plus, being a vampire also comes equipped with a range of useful special powers: who wouldn’t want to be able to transform into a bat, or hypnotise passers-by into becoming your minions and doing your bidding?


Being immortal sounds fun, until you realise it means watching everyone you love grow old and die in front of your eyes. Unless, of course, you vampirise them so they can spend eternity with you, which puts a lot of pressure on your relationship choices.


While being a vampire can be a lonely business, the general rule of thumb with zombies is that you go around in a marauding mob, which suggests it’s a much more sociable choice, suitable for extroverts and those less inclined towards brooding introspection. Plus, the zombie diet of choice – brains – is totally delicious, and has the health benefit of being full of DHA, which is an important omega-3 fatty acid.

然而,成为吸血鬼可能需要忍受孤独的煎熬,与之相反,僵尸的一般经验法则是你会与成群结队暴徒四处游荡,因此这是一个更合群的选择,适合外向的人,也适合那些不太喜欢沉思的人。另外,僵尸以脑髓为食,这是 “完全美味,而且很健康,充满DHA的一种重要的Omega3脂肪酸。”。

While hanging out in a big crowd might suit the more sociably minded, there’s very little in the way of scintillating conversation. Most zombie communication is done with low moans, or by muttering: “Brains! Brains!” with your arms outstretched.


And, in contrast to vampires, and despite the best efforts of Halloween costume designers, it is very hard to pull off a sexy zombie look. Not only is being the living dead a skincare-regime nightmare, you also have to deal with your body parts dropping off left, right and centre. The constant smell of rotting flesh is also usually considered a turn-off.